What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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