So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize