for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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