your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
