I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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