let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
