I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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