guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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