Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
