Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
