I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
