idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
