hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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