haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
