I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
