no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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