I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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