i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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