I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
