A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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