I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
