You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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