How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
