This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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