you guys were way drunker than both of me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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