Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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