A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize