Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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