I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Everyone says I win the strip club
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
