Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
