even my farts smell like vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize