So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
