she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
