all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ladies don't puke and tell
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
