Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm too high and old for this...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
