It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
