How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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