I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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