Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
