FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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