I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
