Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
