the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's rum buckets o'clock
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize