Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
