why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
