So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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