drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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