I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
