Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
