why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
