Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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