Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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