all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is my gift to your gina
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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