I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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