I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
