yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
