nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize