I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
