I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
