Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
