where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
