my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
