I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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