I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
