Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
