is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
