Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
